A depressed person can be extremely sensitive and vulnerable. Sometimes one wrong word can worsen their difficult state of mind. This article is a cry from the heart of those having overcome the hell of depression. Just don’t, don’t talk to people this way!
’Come on, there are problems worse than you have’
Dude, the fact someone has more problems won’t make mine disappear!
Better say: ’Oh, I’m so sorry you feel bad. What can I do to help you?’
’Just believe in yourself, tomorrow it’ll be better’
Do me a favour, stop talking. Depression isn’t a thing that vanishes overnight!
Say it this way: ’Deal with it step by step and I’ll be there to help you.’
’Life is unfair’
Stop! How can that help me feel better? You worsen the situation by saying so, and it depreciates my suffering.
Say: ’I’m so, so sorry you have to overcome this. We’ll cope with it together.’
’Just put up with it’
Oh, come on. A person with depression is ALREADY trying to put up with it. He does his best. Every day. Giving such an advice is like saying he failed to do that.
Better say: ’You don’t have to cope with it alone. I’ll help you.’
’Life goes on’
Well, yes, life’s going on. But when I hear this, I think that my depression doesn’t let me live.
Just tell them: ’Your life’s full of things worthy of living for. Let’s explore them together again.’
’I know how you feel, I’ve had depression once’
People don’t cope with difficulties in the same way, and it’s time you understand that. Again, such a phrase depreciates my sufferings. Depression is NOT ’a bit’ more serious than bad mood or day.
Better so: ’I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I’ll do my best to understand you.’
’Don’t you think you’re behaving like an egoist?’
What’s wrong with you? Most likely the depressed person is criticizing himself/herself every minute, so don’t add fuel to the fire. Remember: depression is not a choice. People don’t get there on their own.
I want to hear that: ’I miss you so much. What can I do to help you?’
’Go have fun, have a drink, and forget about it.’
Are you kidding me? How many times do I have to repeat myself? Depression isn’t just a bad day. It’s like thousands of the worst days in a chain, and you can’t see a way to get out of it. No light at the end of the tunnel. At all.
Better this way: ’I’d like to spend more time with you. How about a cup of coffee and a heart-to-heart talk?’
’Dude, you’re sad trash.’
A depressed person tries every minute to cope with themselves, and tries to get out of this funk. The last thing they want to hear is that they annoy somebody.
Better say: ’I don’t like it when you’re so sad. Let’s fix that somehow.’
’Why so upset?’
Stop it. Depression’s not always caused by a bad accident. Sometimes it just happens. It doesn’t mean it’s not serious.
You should say: ’Sorry I don’t understand why you feel so bad. Don’t worry, I’m here.’
’Stop feeling sorry for yourself’
I’m not going to listen to you anymore. Depression and ’feeling sorry for yourself’ are two hugely different things. But, they often go hand in hand.
Tell them: ’I see it’s hard for you. What can I do to help you?’
’You need to start running’
When you’re depressed, it’s hard to start anything.
Better say: ’I need somebody to exercise with me. Let’s go together.’
’You’re strong, you’ll cope with it’
Depression makes anyone weak and helpless.
Just say: ’Believe in yourself and that you’ll overcome it. You’re not alone, I’ll stand by you.’
And please, don’t forget that depression is a serious illness. If one of your loved ones suffers from it, make sure that he/she will consult a doctor, and stay with him/her in this difficult time